Getting 'uppity' with customers - not a good idea in these times

While down in Houston recently, Natacha and I pulled into this restaurant for lunch. Danton’s Gulf Coast Seafood Kitchen. Sounds great? It wasn’t one of my ‘regulars’ down there, but I’m always of a mind that you’ve got to try new places.

And, I’d been telling Natacha for three years now about how great all the food was down in Houston.

A mistake in this instance. I’ll demonstrate why.

There are a lot of rules laid out at Danton’s.

Natacha found the tone of the “NO To-Go orders … period!” pretty hard to take.

I guess the one that really fried our grits was the last one :

“Silly expectations, gamesmanship, questions or actions will not be tolerated.”

As I told the help as we left:

“If you’re gonna lay out these kind of rules for the customers - especially these days, in a rough economy - you need to be able to step up and do the following:

Seat the customer within a reasonable length of time when they arrive - say within 10 minutes of arrival.

Take a drink order within a reasonable length of time - at least within say, 10 minutes. We’re talking timely service.

Have the items on the menu, and waiting nearly 20 minutes to tell me that you don’t have oysters isn’t acceptable. Oh, and telling me that’s it’s on account of um, that ‘little problem in the Gulf’ suggests I’m am idiot who hasn’t heard the news. I’m not, and I have. Be upfront.

Be able to serve a gumbo that doesn’t feature as it’s main component a horribly burnt roux, with almost no identifiable seafood.

Be able to serve boiled crawdads that are at least somewhat fresh, not boiled to death, and not so overly seasoned that you can’t taste anything but the spices through burning mouthparts.

Be able to serve an edible Caesar salad. I mean it was bad. The dressing tasted like Elmers’ paste.

Not make the customer go looking back in the kitchen for wait staff.”

Perhaps, when times are good and the money is just rolling in, you can get away with third rate service and food. Not so much when times are hard.

Another thing that many businesses need to get a clue about: Just because folks aren’t locals or regulars doesn’t mean they’ll go away without an audible whimper. That’s so last century. Can you say “social media”? Check out Facebook. Uh, Twitter?

I’m trying to tell it like it was and be nice. Natacha had other things that she wanted me to say, but this is a ‘family’ space.