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    « The Mensa Invitational: New Definitions | Main | 10 tips for success in the new year »
    Monday
    Jan102011

    Be true to yourself. Honor your age.

    Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked,
    ‘How old was your husband?’
    ‘98,’ she replied, ‘Two years older than me’
    ‘So you’re 96,’ the undertaker commented.
    She responded , ‘Hardly worth going home, is it?

    Reporter interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
    ‘And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?’ the reporter asked.
    She simply replied, ‘No peer pressure.’

    I’ve sure gotten old! I’ve had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes, I’m half blind, can’t hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that
    make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
    Have bouts with dementia ;
    Have poor circulation;
    Hardly feel my hands and feet anymore;
    Can’t remember if I’m 89 or 98.
    Have lost all my friends.
    But, thank God, I still have my driver’s license.

    I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
    So I got my doctor’s permission to
    join a fitness club and start exercising.
    I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors
    I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. 
    But  by the time I got my leotard on, the class was over.

    Grant me the senility to forget the people
    I never liked anyway,
    The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and
    The eyesight to tell the difference.



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