Surviving your family during the holidays

Step 1: Manage Your Expectations

Thanksgiving gets much easier when you lower your expectations. If you go into your holiday celebration making fewer assumptions about what will unfold, the less likely you are to be disappointed and the more likely you are to appreciate what everyone does bring to the table - literally and figuratively.

1. Forget Perfection: Perfection is overrated - in celebrations and in people. There is no textbook Thanksgiving.
2. Be Flexible with Rituals: While rituals provide structure and meaning to our lives, a slavish adherence to them can result in disappointment and may even unintentionally alienate guests. Be open to new traditions, and don’t do anything just because you think it’s “expected.”
3. Don’t Try to Change Anyone: The only thing you can control is your own behavior.
4. Treat People Well All Year: Don’t expect one dinner to compensate for a year’s worth of neglect. Take the emotional weight off Thanksgiving by letting your family know that you’re thankful for them the other 364 days of the year.

Step 2: Let Other People Help

The responsibility of preparing, serving and cleaning up the Thanksgiving meal shouldn’t fall to one person. It goes without saying that if you’re a guest, you should help your host. Hosts, however, sometimes forget to accept that help. Let your guests shoulder some of the responsibility for the holiday, and consider these stress-busting Turkey Day alternatives:

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